Planning Your Wedding Together

by Irene Conlan

Some future grooms say early on, “Just tell me when to show up and what to wear and leave me alone” and he leaves the work of the wedding to the bride. This is not as typical now as it was in past years. More and more men are getting involved in and enjoying the process of planning their wedding. Some men still think that it is a “girl thing” and not a “guy thing.” Give me a break! A wedding is a “couple thing” and should have equal participation of both the bride and groom.

Approaching your wedding as a twosome can give you the best results in less time. It is also a fairly good predictor of how the marriage will be. It answers many questions that will be important to the marriage, questions such as:

Who makes the decisions? Are they joint decisions or does one of you always have to have his or her way? Is one of you always right? (This implies that the other is always wrong). Does one of you usually have to agree just to get beyond the impasse and get on with it? Is one of you “The Boss” and the other the “Bossed?” Does that work for you?

Are your management styles compatible? Does one of you micro-manage and one of you use a broad brush approach and does that work for you? Sometimes this is highly effective because the broad brusher generates the creative ideas and the micro-manager can work out the details. It takes both. On the other hand a broad brusher can drive the micro-manager crazy and vice versa.

12 next »