Honor and Cherish through Couples Massage
by Christa Ojeda
So you’re about to say “I do” and promise to love, honor and cherish each other until death do you part. But today, you’re stressed out, or have a headache or feel tension in your neck and shoulders...how about honoring each other through massage?
Massage is a great way for couples to connect and build an awareness that can apply to many aspects of their lives together. It helps improve communication skills and intimacy. Remember how attentive you were to each other at the beginning of the relationship? Here’s a great way to keep that going throughout your marriage.
And there are other wonderful benefits to massage, too. According to the American Massage Therapy Association, massage can lower the heart rate and blood pressure, increase circulation of blood and lymph, relax the muscles, and heighten the body’s production of endorphins which fight pain.
If you think you don’t know the first thing about massage don’t worry! There are plenty of ways to learn some simple techniques without having to go through a certified training program.
Find a book
There are a lot of books out there that teach basic massage techniques. Do a search on Amazon.com or Half.com, go to your local bookstore or check one out of your library. I recommend ones with lots of pictures and easy to follow instructions. Don’t worry about learning complicated techniques ֖ leave that to the certified therapists something as simple as pressing the muscles between your fingers and palms feels wonderful and can alleviate all sorts of tension.
Try it out on yourself first
If you’re not sure what will feel good, try it on yourself first. For example, place your hands on your shoulders and press and knead in a manner that’s pleasing to you, then try it out on your partner. Chances are they’ll like it too ֖ but always ask just in case. Make sure you do what your partner finds pleasurable and then teach them what you like.
Take a class
There are classes ranging from sensual to therapeutic massage or a combination of both offered in your area. Try a Google search or check out local yoga studios. If it’s not obvious, ask what kind of massage is being taught and if experience is necessary. Find one that you like and enroll the two of you.
Here’s a simple routine I teach in my therapeutic couples massage class that you can do in just a few minutes. I call it “Hand and Shoulder Squeeze”.
- Sit facing your partner or in any position that is comfortable that allows you access to your partner’s hand and arm
- Take your partner’s right hand and gently wrap your fingers around your partner’s little finger and squeeze, holding it for about 2-5 counts
- Go through each finger, working your way towards the thumb hold each squeeze for a count of 2-5
- Using your thumb and index finger, press the web of your partner’s hand (the skin between their thumb and index finger) about an inch below the last knuckle of the thumb just to the inside of the bone ֖ the area should feel a little tender to the touch hold for a count of 2-5
- Now continue by grasping the flesh of your partner’s hand and arm, starting at the outside of the thumb, and squeezing rhythmically for a count of 1-2 up the inside of the arm, around the shoulder and back down the other side
- Finish by pinching the tips of each finger starting with the little finger and ending with the thumb
- Repeat on other hand/arm
This routine is not only simple and feels good but it incorporates ancient reflexology/acupressure techniques that hit various pressure points that are said to stimulate other parts of the body. And all you need to do is squeeze!
Understand what matters most of all is your intent. When you’re massaging each other use this time to really focus on what your partner needs. Don’t think about the caterers or the seating chart or anything else on your “to do” list, because after the wedding is over and the guests are gone and the thank you cards are written there’s just the two of you ֖ loving, honoring, cherishing and hopefully, massaging your way through life together.
© 2005 by Christa Ojeda. This article was reprinted with permission. The original article can be found here.‘
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