Wedding Chicago: The Crime of Jennifer Willbanks

June 2, 2005

"She had left Georgia because of the pressures of her wedding.  The list of things she needed to get done and no time to do it made her feel overwhelmed.” - from the Albuquerque police report on Jennifer Willbanks, as reported on CNN.com.

I wasn’t going to weigh in on this event, but her actions are becoming clearer with each passing day.

How many times during my engagement did I feel overwhelmed?  I’m not here to judge her actions one way or the other, but I can understand that feeling.  Over the years, I have learned the power of asking for help, when necessary.  A family member could easily take on the duties of booking a limo, hiring the musicians, etc.  Would she have run away if she relied more on her loved ones for help?  Did she confide in a close friend about her feelings of fear and panic over her growing to-do list? 

Many pundits around the globe have judged her for not making better choices.  All I can say is that I believe in creating a community of family and friends.  I have wonderful people in my life that I can rely on for help and guidance in times of trouble.  I can share my feelings in confidence with friends who will not gossip about my problems to other people.  If I didn’t have that support in my life, I don’t know if I could have planned my wedding with even a shred of serenity.

Many of us dream about our weddings from the ripe, old age of six.  As a result we’ve built up these expectations over many years, and we struggle to live up to those expectations.  We’re not perfect, and some things might go wrong throughout the wedding.  As long as the two people who love each other show up and declare that love in front of family and friends, any mishaps will go unnoticed.  Your guests will respond to the love you have for each other.

I don’t know what was going on in Jennifer Willbanks’ head on April 26th.  I do know that the industry is set up to feed off of the pressure that couples may feel during their engagement.  It’s important for me to remember to talk about my feelings so that they don’t build up and explode at the wrong time.

Have a good one! 

Comments

Use the form below to begin the discussion.

Post a comment

You must be a member to post a comment. Sign up.

Commenting is not available in this section entry.