Wedding, Marriage & Oprah

May 10, 2006

I don’t know if you had a chance to watch Oprah yesterday, but the entire episode focused on the questions, fears and doubts that couples may have before walking down the aisle.

Kristen Armstrong, former wife of Lance Armstrong, talked about her relationship with Lance before the wedding and how she changed afterwards.  She left her family and friends to move all the way to France with Lance so that he could prepare train for the Tour de France.  She realized that she put more of an emphasis on the wedding and less on the idea of being married to a full-time athlete & champion. 

The other two women on the show had cold feet about their upcoming nuptials.  The first woman said that planning a wedding is like a full-time job and that it can detract from working on the relationship and the upcoming marriage.  The second woman stated that she felt like she was losing herself and that she had already begun thinking about divorce even though her wedding was months away.

They both talked about feeling overwhelmed because their friends and family members inundated them with questions about the wedding.  One of them said that she had second thoughts about getting married but that it’s too late to call it off.  Let me just say that even though you have invested thousands of dollars into the wedding, It’s never too late to call it off!

Some people want to save face and plow through the engagement and wedding simply because that’s what is expected of them.  I don’t know about you, but If ever I do something that I don’t want to do, I get resentful.  That’s just how it is.  My anger and resentment may not be overt, but it will come out in little ways toward the person in question.

Dr. Robin Smith, psychologist and frequent Oprah guest, was also on the show and reminded everyone that it’s important to live in truth when you get married, don’t run from it.  Instead of pretending to be the happy bride, simply voice your concerns so that you can marry your partner freely. 

I have to admit that I liked the advice Dr. Robin gave on the show.  Her first marriage ended in divorce so she had plenty of life experiences to share with the brides. 

She wrote a book on this very topic called, “Lies at the Altar - the Truth about Great Marriages”.  Check it online:  http://btobsearch.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbnInquiry.asp?z=y&btob=Y&endeca=1&isbn=1401302564&itm=9

I haven’t read the book, but I plan on picking up a copy.

Take care!

Alison

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