Love is Patient, Love is Kind

January 26, 2009

So, I was sitting here thinking about what I wanted to write about today and the following quote from the bible came to me:

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preserves.”
-- 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Now, I’ll admit that I’m not exactly fluent with biblical scriptures.  We go to church, but it’s hard for me to remember quotes, chapters and verses from the bible.  I’ve never been good at that.  But, the beginning of this verse has always stayed with me.  Love is not about domination or manipulation.  Love is supposed to be patient, kind, truthful and giving.

Why do I bring this up, you might ask.  Well, I was thinking about a former friend of mine from years ago.  She was in a relationship that was moving pretty quickly.  Actually, her sexual orientation and changed out of the blue and she decided that she was really a straight woman after living many years as a lesbian. 

Soon after she started living a straight life, she became involved with a man who initially seemed nice and kind of funny.  While hanging around with them a few times, my husband and I witnessed her boyfriend acting pretty disrespectful toward her.  One night we went to a social event downtown that happened to have an entire cooked pig situated on the buffet table from which guests were to serve themselves.  Upon seeing the monstrosity, my friend’s boyfriend snorted like a pig and compared the pig to her.  My husband and I were mortified, but she just laughed it off.

Real love does not involve insults or put-downs.  Real love only supports and enhances a person’s self-esteem.  I know we all say stupid things at different times, but a couple should never get to the point where they feel it’s okay to disrespect each other in any way.  That’s simply off limits.

There were other incidents during which I felt uncomfortable with the boyfriend’s behavior toward her, but she was too far in love to see things clearly.  We are no longer friends but I know that she married that man.  Who knows?  They could have overcome their problems and created a fabulous marriage.  I have no idea, but I wish her the best.

If you have a partner who’s always criticizing you or putting you down in any way, you might want to rethink the relationship before you get married.  Marriage takes a lot of work and commitment from two people that really and truly love each other.  If you see any red flags during the engagement from your partner, they’ll only get worse once you’re married.

Have a great one!

Alison Rodriguez